By Recommend....

Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it just explode?

Ariel recommended this poem to me after my post dream dream dream. Honestly I don't think I could have explained it any better. I wasn't referring to any one dream in particular, but several that had been on my mind. It has given me something to reflect on those dreams that I have put off, put away, or turned away from. Just thought I would share the poem for others that may enjoy something to reflect on as well.

Life is like Math... just that simple... or not

While working on my calculus homework today the concept finally clicked, and I was getting my exercises correct. I thought why can't life be as simple as math. I mean really. Give me a concept, theory, rule, or law on how to solve the problem. Then each problem has a solution.

Well then when I finished the section and took a brain break the real math nerd in me came out and I started to laugh because life really is just like math. Follow me on this for just a min.

As a child it is true every math problem you are given is quite simple and really does only have one right answer. 2+1=3. Always has been always will be. Just like life every problem had one right answer.

Then as we got older the problems become more difficult. It builds on what we learned before. Solve for 2x+3=11... x=4. Much like our lives. A few more options on how to solve "problems", but still generally just one answer.

Now as we have gotten older the problems get even more difficult... x^2-x-6=0, guess what there are two right answers!!! -2 and 3. Both true, but not equal. Which one to choose.

Then the worst problems of all. The ones with NO SOLUTION SET!!! That is right, how often do we find those problems in life.

Even better there are plenty of theories, a few rules, and really only one Law that will help with the problems of life. That is Christ.

Wow who knew what someone could think of while working on calculus homework. I guess everything... and I do me Everything points to Christ.

Thanks for reading, and yes I acknowledge I am a nerd.

It is wonderful to know I am not alone on this one...

I have have had a great sense of thankfulness, since I was 18 (when I was willing to admit it) that the Lord really is in charge of my life. I have loved seeing how the pieces all fit together. So often in life when it seems like none of the pieces fit together I feel lost, sometimes discouraged, and very alone. Then once I think I have determined what it is the Lord would have me do I then have to take a leap of faith.

Some times it has been a much more like a hope, skip, and a jump, and other times it has been a real leap of faith. Example my move to Oregon.

The thing is I am at one of those cross roads again in my life, and while I know once I get on the other side and look back, all the pieces will fit right into place, and I will be grateful for every bump and scrap that got me to the other side getting the courage to know which leap I should take and put all my faith into it so I can make the jump is still difficult.

I do want to say that I am grateful for my most recent experiences. Over the last year I have felt more lost, more unsure about myself, and less like I understand where my life is going, but at the same time I have never felt more support, love, and learned how the Lord speaks to me.

My weaknesses have been brought so much to the surface and I have never felt more humble about them in my life. I hope they will at some point be my strengths. I look forward to finding where I am to jump, and that I will have the faith necessary to make that leap.

All I can say is I am glad life isn't solely my plan, or it would be a mess from the beginning to the end. At least with the Lord, I know it has all made sense once, and at some point it will all fit together again. That is a picture I look forward to seeing.

Dream Dream Dream...

You know those goals that you set over and over again, but you really never move forward? What happens when you do? I have several that I have finally gotten to, and in some cases even further along in my life but now what? Don't get me wrong I can still improve in those areas and still want to, but for some reason taking that next step has been very hard.

Is it fear of success? Fear of growing up? Fear of the responsibility that comes with both of those?

It has really been on my mind for the past few weeks, so I thought I would throw it out there see what others might think.

arsenic isn't that bad

Study: tanning beds as deadly as arsenic

LONDON — International cancer experts have moved tanning beds and other sources of ultraviolet radiation into the top cancer risk category, deeming them as deadly as arsenic and mustard gas. For years, scientists have described tanning beds and ultraviolet radiation as "probable carcinogens."

A new analysis of about 20 studies concludes the risk of skin cancer jumps by 75 percent when people start using tanning beds before age 30. Experts also found that all types of ultraviolet radiation caused worrying mutations in mice, proof the radiation is carcinogenic. Previously, only one type of ultraviolet radiation was thought to be lethal.

The new classification means tanning beds and other sources of ultraviolet radiation are definite causes of cancer, alongside tobacco, the hepatitis B virus and chimney sweeping, among others.

The rest of the story can be found at http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20090728/EU.MED.Tanning.Beds.Cancer/

Anyway... I found this funny as last week I spent some time at girls came. There the water cannot be consumed due to high levels of arsenic... don't worry it is okay if you water has up to 10 particles of arsenic. It is considered dangerous at 50. The water at camp was over 200. :)

Don't worry we didn't drink any of it, or cook any food in it, but it was considered safe enough for cleaning dishes, showering, and doing laundry...

So for any of those out there that are tanners. Take it with a grain of salt. Just because there is arsenic in the water doesn't make it deadly... or does it.

hurry to grow up

So I was at work today, yes my new wonderful job at the deli, which I love!

Anyway...

I saw three boys between the ages of 8-13 walk by. One walked under a bag that had been hung for decoration, looking up, hoping he would bump into it, because he was that tall. Sadly it did not. He was about two inches short. So what did he do??? Hopped so it would hit his head. :)

Oh how badly we wanted to grow up when we were small, and what did our parents tell us? Enjoy being young while you can. Did we listen... did we ever listen? NO. So my thought when I saw that was oh what I wouldn't give up to be young again, and wanted to tell the boys to enjoy being young while they could. Funny how the world works.

Just thought I would share. Enjoy the moment you are in now.

Monday

Talk about learning to jump into life again. Today was day one of the new life and the new goal. For me I felt so lost. So much free time, or really I should say flexible time I didn't know what to do with myself.

Wish me luck as I talk my leap of faith.