I have have had a great sense of thankfulness, since I was 18 (when I was willing to admit it) that the Lord really is in charge of my life. I have loved seeing how the pieces all fit together. So often in life when it seems like none of the pieces fit together I feel lost, sometimes discouraged, and very alone. Then once I think I have determined what it is the Lord would have me do I then have to take a leap of faith.
Some times it has been a much more like a hope, skip, and a jump, and other times it has been a real leap of faith. Example my move to Oregon.
The thing is I am at one of those cross roads again in my life, and while I know once I get on the other side and look back, all the pieces will fit right into place, and I will be grateful for every bump and scrap that got me to the other side getting the courage to know which leap I should take and put all my faith into it so I can make the jump is still difficult.
I do want to say that I am grateful for my most recent experiences. Over the last year I have felt more lost, more unsure about myself, and less like I understand where my life is going, but at the same time I have never felt more support, love, and learned how the Lord speaks to me.
My weaknesses have been brought so much to the surface and I have never felt more humble about them in my life. I hope they will at some point be my strengths. I look forward to finding where I am to jump, and that I will have the faith necessary to make that leap.
All I can say is I am glad life isn't solely my plan, or it would be a mess from the beginning to the end. At least with the Lord, I know it has all made sense once, and at some point it will all fit together again. That is a picture I look forward to seeing.
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2 comments:
Great post, Beth. All I know is that your life looks pretty good, surrounded by great people, doing fun things, living a good life, taking care of yourself, getting an education, working hard, using your talents, etc. I'm pretty sure you underestimate yourself... except for forgetting the cornstarch! AND you are a fabulous roommate!
Amen, sista. That's the truth of walking by faith and somehow the unsettledness of single life makes or breaks that way of living. I'm honestly amazed at how far I've come yet it seemed/seems so unsettled/uncertain/weak at the time. When we are weak then are we strong, eh?
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