Sometimes do is easier than do not...

While discussing President Monson's talk on gratitude from this last conference a friend of mine told me how he mad a corelation between the comandment to be greatful, and the comandment of thou shat not covet.

Theory being if you are greatful for what you have, your station in life, and what ever blessings you have been given you won't covet what your neighbor, brother, friend, or enemy has.

I think this works much like anything else you are trying to remove from you life. example if I want to drink less soda, I try to drink more water. Subsitute.

So the subsitute for coveting what others have is gratitude for what we do have.

Thoughts?

Oh Oregon how you changed me...

Here are a few things about my personality that I attribute 100% to having lived in Oregon.

My joy for a sunny day. I grew up in the desert where it was always sunny, so loved the rain of Oregon from the first day I got there till I moved, and miss it still. But in all this love for rain I also gained a great appreciation for a sunny day. It alwasys makes me smile when I go out side and think "oh look the sun is shinning, what a beautiful day." Then I remember... "oh yes, I'm in AZ where the sun always shines, oh well, still a beautiful day."

My great relunctance to through recycables away. Yes it is true, I am having to learn to through things like cardboard, pop cans, and other reyclables away because there isn't recyling at my complex, or work. It is still a strugle, and I stare at the garbage for about 30 seconds before I do.

My great anyonance with stores and thier need to bag everything, but only 2-3 items per bag. Really I can carry my milk out, and you could have used 3 bags, not nine. They have soooo much to learn.

My amazement of the large side streets here. I can make a full circle turn even if there are cars parked on both sides, no worries. Not a six point turn. It is amazing what they pave when they don't have an urban growth boundary.

Oh and I have yet to accept that I missed fall and should be in winter, as it is still warm, there are no tree leaves changing color, and I still can't pull out my swaeaters. :(

But I do love it here, between the warm air, amazing sunsets, beautiful red rock, and the wonderful people. I am happy I came, but a little weirder thanks to Portland OR.

Please stop doing the math....

I ask this for your benefit not mine.

Conversation I seem to be having over and over. All thoughts in parenthesis. Including the thoughts I am fairly sure you are having.

Me.... Hi good to meet you
You... So where are you from?
Me... Portland Oregon.
You... Oh you down here going to school?
Me... No I graduated, working, what are you doing with your life. (trying to change subject)
You...School, so you went to school in Portland then.
Me... No I went to Utah State. You coming to the BBQ and softball game tomorrow. (trying to change the subject)
You... yeah I should be there... so what were you doing in Portland then.
Me... worked for a couple of years (trying to keep the number low I see where this is going)
You... Oh when did you graduate from USU? (I think she is older then she appears.)
Me... Oh a few years back. (STOP IT... If I wanted you to know you are almost a decade younger then me I'd tell you)
You... (hmmmm, big gulps... (oh wait you're to young for that movie))
Me... (too much empty space... you're doing the math)
Me... So Institute is Thursday night
You... yep, well I'm going to go grab....
Me... (yep you think I'm 25... 4 years at college... 2 years in Portland, don't worry I'm 27, almost 28)

End of convo. Really I don't care that you are younger then me... why do you. I wish you would just stop doing the math. We would all be so much happier.

That's all.

Love this song

Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert

Hey slow it down

Yeah I'm afraid

Just don't give up on me
I won't let you down
No, I wont let you down

There might have have been a time
I would give myself away
Once upon a time
I didn't give a damn
But now here we are
So what do you want from me?

Just don't give up on me
I wont let you down
No I wont let you down

Just don't give up I'm working it out
Please don't give in I won't let you down.
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
just keep coming around
Hey what do you want from me

Learned a lot this weekend

Well the weekend is over, and while it came with some great times, and learning a big part of me is glad that it is over, and that I can move forward.

A friend of mine from CO that I meet through a mutual friend came out for a visit. We have been chatting over e-mail and phone for the last few months, and felt it would be good for us to meet face to face.

In the end, I know I am glad he came out and I believe he is too, but I think I learned more about myself than anything else. :)

At this point we have decided to continue chatting on a regular basis, and look forward to the possibility of me going out to visit there. We are not by any means a couple at this point. We are just getting to know one another, and I like that.

What is more important that I have discovered about myself is that I am stuck in some ruts, and leaning on some excuses in my life that are keeping me from moving forward in several aspects of my life. I need to let go, have some trust and move forward. The issues I find is some of these I have been hanging on to for as long as 6-8 years.

That is right I have issues... but who doesn't. The question is what do I plan to do about it...

Step one I am going to do some real reflection the next few weeks and see where the real root of the issues may be stemming from and start facing some fears.

Oh no worries this is has nothing to do with my relationship issues... those I have been working on already... still single... still not perfect... still okay with that. :)

Wish me luck.

looking forward to the next few days

Cuz I am going to put my analyzing brain on the self... well as far out of reach as I can, and just enjoy this weekend.

We can talk again on Tuesday.

2010 Time to start again...

2010 got off to kind of a ruff start. Lots going on, some positive, alot negitive. Overall I think it is time to hit the restart button. What could be a better time then the Chinese New Year. Of course.

So my year 2010 is going to start with the year of the Tiger. Granted I am trying to make positive changes in my life now rather than wait for Monday, but generally speaking my fresh start is going to be this Monday.

My life is falling into play. I now work four jobs. Yeah for opportunity. I am settled into three of the four. Day Care, Checking, and House Cleaning. Still building confidence in pizza delivery.

Here are some of the things I am looking forward to this year:

March: I will be going through the temple for my first time.
July: Family Reunion
August: Bowron canoe trip in Canada

Then two weddings one in April, one in June.
Hopefully a few trips to Smith Rock.

Should make for a great year!